A Negative Cycle of Prayer

Years go I found myself in a negative cycle of prayer.   I was a volunteer in youth ministry at my church.   During a high school retreat, my Youth pastor, Dave Griener, made the statement, "I came to the place when I realized that if there is nothing else in ministry I can pray."  A few years later I was frustrated with ministry as a youth pastor and Dave's words came to mind, "If I can do nothing else I can pray."  So I began to pray.  It was great!  The Lord was near.  I was full of hope that God was going to work in the student's lives.  My prayer list was growing to 40, 60, 80 requests.  It would take me about two hours to work through my prayer list.  In about four weeks, I began to get a little frustrated.  Those suckers weren't changing.  I continued to pray, but after six weeks I was angry because I wasn't seeing any life change in the lives of the students.  Two more weeks later I was down right bitter.  So much so, that I had to throw my prayer list away and stop praying.  

A few months later I would be frustrated with ministry and my prayerlessness The Spirit would again bring Dave's words to my mind, "If I could do nothing else I could pray."  So I began to pray again.  It was great!  God's presence was near!  I was full of optimism that God was going to work in the student's lives.  I was making my prayer list with faith that things would change.  After four weeks, I began to get a little frustrated.  Six weeks later I was angry.  After another two to three weeks I was bitter again and I had to stop praying.  Believe it or not this was the cycle of my prayer life two to three times a year for ten years.  

After administrating an evangelistic training event that wasn't as successful as I thought it should be I was again frustrated and teachable.  I was at a pastor's gathering when the speaker spoke of a church in Seoul, Korea that had 500,000 people.  The reason for this amazing growth was prayer.  The speaker lifted up a book called, Prayer Key To Revival by Paul Y. Cho.  I bought the book driving home from the event and began to read it immediately.  Two news truths stood out as I read the book and completely changed my life.  First, I learned that God wants to speak to us as we spend time in the word and prayer.  In my prayer life I basically went to the Father with my shopping list of the things I wanted Him to do.  Second, I learned that the nature of prayer was threefold.  Prayer is persistent asking, making requests for the things we need.  Prayer is persistent seeking, pursuing the face of the Father and listening for His voice.  Prayer is persistent knocking, asking the Father to bring about life change in the life of a person, a family, a church, a city or a nation.

The defeating cycle of prayer that plagued my life for ten years ceased.  My prayer life changed dramatically as I began to seek the Lord is prayer, listening for what He was doing.  My perspective changed as I prayed for transformation in the lives of those I ministered realizing that I was knocking on a door and waiting for the Lord to change their lives.